My heart is burdened today. It's December 17 and Christmas is coming fast. I set aside today as the day to finish my shopping, get the cards in the mail, and be ready to (hopefully) enjoy the last few days before Christmas. But my heart is burdened.
It all started yesterday with the news that one of my all time favorite scrapbook artists, Ali Edwards, and her husband are getting a divorce. (He wants to go in a different direction. What is that supposed to mean!) I don't actually know Ali personally. But I feel this connection with her. One, because I've been a fan of hers since I discovered her amazing talent for storytelling with words and photos in Creating Keepsakes Magazine. She inspires me. Two, she lives in Oregon (where my kids live). Three, her son has autism. My grandson, Bevan, who lives in Oregon, has Asperger's (a form of autism). I follow her blog. I participate in December Daily and Week in the Life projects. I've taken two online classes. I just feel connected. She seemed to have the 'perfect' family. Don't we all until you get behind closed doors. But she and her family seemed very real. You could see the relationship in the photos with them and their kids (Simon and Anna), but maybe the relationship was more with the kids and less with each other. I don't know ... but I feel 'let down' in knowing they are getting a divorce. Who is safe these days. I've already been through one. I don't intend to go through another. (I didn't intend to go through the first one), but it frightens me... and my heart aches for her and her kids. Especially her kids.
Then my own kids (in Portland) have really been having some tougher than usual financial times. I've even helped them out with their internet/TV bill twice this year. Today, I tried calling their cell phones to ask a question about last minute Christmas stuff...and it appears their service has been disconnected. I don't know if their internet is still working or not - though I did try sending a message. My heart is burdened for them. Knowing how difficult it is anyway and in the economic times we've been going through these last few years - it's more difficult. I can't reach them right now. I can't help them right now. My heart aches and I worry about them.
And then, while I'm out shopping. Ron calls and tells me that Tina got served with eviction papers. Not just a plea by the landlord, but the real deal. The sheriff showing up at the door. Thirty days pay or get out. Seriously, the week before Christmas?! And Matthew is the one who opened the door. I picked up Aaron a few minutes later - we already had an appointment to go to the bank to put his financial aid money into an account with us so we can help him learn to budget... He's not sure what his mom will do. He says she'll figure it out. Matthew lives with us anyway. Sarah rents a house near Pepperdine, so even though she wants to be 'home,' she does have a place to go. Aaron is the one without many options. Push comes to shove, he could stay with us awhile - but right now we're barely making ends meet with just the 3 of us. And the rest of the year, the next 15 days will be tight. My heart is burdened for the kids right now ... how tough it must be to know your mom might not have a place to live. And what about Christmas? Actually, my heart is burdened for her too. She's certainly made some bad choices, but I wouldn't wish these troubles on anyone ...
I prayed a lot today... it's hard sometimes to trust in God, because trusting in God means waiting on God. And waiting is hard ...
It all started yesterday with the news that one of my all time favorite scrapbook artists, Ali Edwards, and her husband are getting a divorce. (He wants to go in a different direction. What is that supposed to mean!) I don't actually know Ali personally. But I feel this connection with her. One, because I've been a fan of hers since I discovered her amazing talent for storytelling with words and photos in Creating Keepsakes Magazine. She inspires me. Two, she lives in Oregon (where my kids live). Three, her son has autism. My grandson, Bevan, who lives in Oregon, has Asperger's (a form of autism). I follow her blog. I participate in December Daily and Week in the Life projects. I've taken two online classes. I just feel connected. She seemed to have the 'perfect' family. Don't we all until you get behind closed doors. But she and her family seemed very real. You could see the relationship in the photos with them and their kids (Simon and Anna), but maybe the relationship was more with the kids and less with each other. I don't know ... but I feel 'let down' in knowing they are getting a divorce. Who is safe these days. I've already been through one. I don't intend to go through another. (I didn't intend to go through the first one), but it frightens me... and my heart aches for her and her kids. Especially her kids.
Then my own kids (in Portland) have really been having some tougher than usual financial times. I've even helped them out with their internet/TV bill twice this year. Today, I tried calling their cell phones to ask a question about last minute Christmas stuff...and it appears their service has been disconnected. I don't know if their internet is still working or not - though I did try sending a message. My heart is burdened for them. Knowing how difficult it is anyway and in the economic times we've been going through these last few years - it's more difficult. I can't reach them right now. I can't help them right now. My heart aches and I worry about them.
And then, while I'm out shopping. Ron calls and tells me that Tina got served with eviction papers. Not just a plea by the landlord, but the real deal. The sheriff showing up at the door. Thirty days pay or get out. Seriously, the week before Christmas?! And Matthew is the one who opened the door. I picked up Aaron a few minutes later - we already had an appointment to go to the bank to put his financial aid money into an account with us so we can help him learn to budget... He's not sure what his mom will do. He says she'll figure it out. Matthew lives with us anyway. Sarah rents a house near Pepperdine, so even though she wants to be 'home,' she does have a place to go. Aaron is the one without many options. Push comes to shove, he could stay with us awhile - but right now we're barely making ends meet with just the 3 of us. And the rest of the year, the next 15 days will be tight. My heart is burdened for the kids right now ... how tough it must be to know your mom might not have a place to live. And what about Christmas? Actually, my heart is burdened for her too. She's certainly made some bad choices, but I wouldn't wish these troubles on anyone ...
I prayed a lot today... it's hard sometimes to trust in God, because trusting in God means waiting on God. And waiting is hard ...
