Tales from the Bus Loop

Today is the first day of school for Redlands High School (and most schools in the Redlands School District, I guess). It was weird to see the big yellow school buses around town again, and waiting behind them as they stopped at the train tracks.
As we drove by the High School this morning on the way to work ('we' being Bon Jovi and me), the kids were walking to class and Bon Jovi started wagging his tail. I think he thought we were picking up Matthew! Makes sense, this is the way we would go to school to pick him up after school, and drop him off for football practice and pick him up again afterwards. The 'bus loop' was a regular stop for Bon Jovi and he recognized where we were immediately. Funny, that the dog should remember that, especially since I was thinking about school days and the bus loop this morning while getting dressed for work.
When I first married Ron, and I had kids with school schedules and sports schedules to coordinate again...it was a little overwhelming to say the least. I had been an 'empty nester' for ten years. Now I was getting snacks for lunches, taking kids to school, waiting in the bus loop (or at their mom's house) to pick them up after I got off work. And yes, I complained.
But it was in those 10 minute drives to and from school that gave me the opportunity to build a relationship one on one with each of my stepsons. Family connections were made around the dinner table at night, but the personal relationships were formed during the drive to school and back each day.
This year the last child graduated from High School. The day I had been looking forward too for so long ... but now, of course, I look back on those school days fondly and remember most of them as good days. 
A new Season of Life is beginning ... again.

A Good Day?...

It was 3:00 in the afternoon, on Saturday. I was at the bank. The teller asked me, "Are you having a good day?" I automatically answered, "Yes." Then I chuckled ... "Well, I had to give my stepson money this morning. We had to take the dog to the Vet. It cost $200. Now I'm depositing money into my daugter-in-law's account. It's an expensive day, but I guess it's a good day."  She chuckled also, and said, "I hope you can enjoy the rest of your day." And I smiled.
It had been an expensive day. Not the day I had planned at all. But kids are forever - even 'furry' kids, and it is a good feeling when you can help someone else.
"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in trouble, with the comfort we ourselves receive from God." (2 Corinthians 1:3-4)

What do you do here all day?

The background story is this:
There's a gentleman who lives in the retirement home across the street from our church. He started coming to our church after he began 'dating' one of the other ladies in the retirement home who came to our church. He (and his daughter) were eventually baptized ... and he and Carolyn (his date) came to church together every Sunday for months. Now, Carolyn's health is declining ... and she hasn't been to church with him in 4 or 5 weeks. But he still comes most every Sunday alone.
He walks around the church neighborhood and church parking lot in the mornings about the same time I arrive to work, and take Bon Jovi (my dog) on his first walk of the day. The gentleman's name is Jim. Jim and I see each other most mornings on our walks. We stop and chat a bit. I ask him about Carolyn. Not good, he says... Then this morning he asks: "What do you do here all day?" (chuckling to myself, thinking there are probably a lot of people who wonder what I do). But the fact is, I have a lot of things to do on a weekly basis. Tasks divided up among the four days I work each week. Most of what I do is preparing for Sunday, but there are other basic secretarial and treasurer type things I do, too. So I told him - secretarial duties, typing the bulletin, paying the bills, and creating the slide shows for Sundays. He seemed satisfied...
Then I get into the office, and one of the college students wrote on her membership card: "Thank you, Deiga, for all you do on a weekly basis!"
What do you do here? ...
(Answer the phone, general copy work, open and distribute the mail, attendance, type visitor list and letters, send lists to elders, send emails to those serving in the Sunday assembly, type and print the weekly announcement sheet, email to absentees, create song and announcement slide shows, copy songs for praise team and song leader, create and print monthly church calendar insert, prepare materials for the Praise and Worship Design team, print and compile annual church directory, order office supplies, keep bulletin board and budget board up to date, maintain keys, and master church calendar, order flowers for funerals, activate phone tree when directed, maintain computer membership program, send new member and baptism letters, write payroll checks and pay bills, reconcile bank statement, prepare monthly financial statements, oversee mission funds, pay employee taxes monthly online and quarterly by mail.) 
Thank you for all you do on a weekly basis. 

Kids, Grandkids, and Mother's Day

He said, "I'm sorry your grandbabies live so far away. I didn't understand before, but now I do."
'He' is Steve Kay, the preacher at the church where I work as the secretary. I guess that makes him my boss, but not your typical boss-employee relationship. More like friends who work together.
Of course, my 'grandbabies' aren't babies anymore. They range in age from 6 to 16. But he was referring to when I first became a grandma, and my kids lived here. First with Bevan, then Eric, and finally Garrett, I watched them one or two days a week. And on those days I brought them to work with me. I had a portable crib at the office and in between babysitting duties I worked. Steve complained some about me having my grandkids there, but didn't tell me I couldn't bring them. And the babysitting duties didn't last very long at all. Michael and Melinda moved to Kentucky when Bevan was about eight months old. Eric was with me for a few weeks when he was a baby and then again when he was 3 or 4. Garrett, just a few times as a baby.
Fast forward 10-15 years, now Steve has become a grandpa. His grandson, Daniel, was born last year, and his granddaughter, Grace, was just born about six weeks ago. His grandkids are the love of his life right now, and they live close by and they get to see them and babysit them often. Now, he gets it.
Now, the roles are reversed and, while I'm happy for him, I don't want to hear about all of the time he gets to spend with them...
I'm sorry my grandkids live so far away, too.

Today, May 9, 2014 is Garrett's 12th birthday. Twelve. I had to look up his birthdate to be sure and yep, he's twelve. One more reminder of all of the wasted years I haven't got to see and get to know Rick's kids. Oh, I sent Garrett a b-day card and gift card. He called me to thank me this afternoon. But you could tell we didn't have much to say. I asked him how he was celebrating. He said they were going out for Chinese food. Then Christy asked me if I remembered making Garrett's Mickey Mouse crib set. Oh, yes I do. In fact today I was thinking about the day they brought him home (he is adopted and was about 6 months old). We (his grandpa Al and me) went over to see him and got to hold him for the first time. He was our first adopted grandchild and I can tell you, you love them just the same. His grandpa and I were there when he celebrated his first birthday in 2003, but then three weeks later, his grandpa left me for another woman. That was the last birthday I celebrated with him and today he is twelve. Christy asked if I wanted to talk to Rick (I think it was so he wouldn't need to call me on Mother's Day in two days). Sure I want to talk to him. But that conversation was just as awkward as the one with Garrett. A little more small talk, but he's been out of my life by his choice for 15 years and sadly there's not much common ground. And it hurts. It hurts a lot.
Separated by miles and time, but never out of my mind or heart...Being a mom and a grandma are still the most precious of my life's accomplishments.