We had just picked Matthew up. We hadn't seen him all weekend and we were talking about what he had done over the weekend. "Nothing much. Hung out with friends, but nothing much." Then he was talking about one of his friends who has been on a weight loss craze. He's lost about 30 pounds and is now bordering on anorexic. He's one of about six children, a victim of a broken home and we suspect the lack of a strong father figure has contributed to a low self-esteem, causing at least some of the compulsive dieting and exercising. Matthew is a little concerned about his friend. But his friend has a big ego (to hide the low self-esteem) and so he's not interested in Matthew's help.
Ron commented on the situation and how he understood some of the friend's issues and how he needed a dad, and even more importantly a real relationship with God. He went on to talk about how he had struggled with providing the right environment, a more disciplined routine, and spiritual example while he was a single dad. He said, "Two things really helped - one, marrying Deiga..." Matthew said, "Yeh, that helped a lot!" I was surprised by the conviction of his words. Such a positive affirmation of my influence in his life, and an indicator of how much his attitude and behavior has changed in the last 4 years. (The other source of positive influence and help was Ron's parents - but they live in South Carolina, so it was long distance and not a 'daily' influence).
Before going to bed, Ron talked about Matthew's reaction and how much the kids love me and how much my influence in their lives has helped... just those words - both from Matthew and Ron - go a long way in helping me know I'm being a good role model for them. And on this day, it's a great feeling ...
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